5 Reasons Why You Should Request and Not Demand in a Relationship
Photo Courtesy: Shinichi Sugiyama
Handling relationships is a sensitive affair. Many times in life, we often don’t realize that small personal traits of people can cause big issues in the most important of our relationships. When a person does not change these traits in himself or herself, they start to annoy the other person in the relationship, and sooner or later, the relationship starts to get weak.
One such thing in each relationship is the habit of demanding. It is said that there is a very thin line between demanding and requesting, and those who understand that can often find it easier to manage their relationships well. This thin line is what saves your bond from breaking, and also makes it stronger in the process. Here is why you need to realize that you should request instead of demanding things in your relationship.
1. It makes you both equal
A healthy relationship is about two equal people sharing their lives together. When even one of them turns out to be dominating, and starts demanding things from the other person, it changes the dynamics of the relationship to that of ‘a seeker’ and ‘a giver’. The seeker always demands, and the giver always provides, irrespective of whether she likes it or not. Don’t create this unnecessary hierarchy in your relationship, and always request for things with mutual respect and understanding, so that you both stand as equals.
2. It makes you seem mature
When you demand for things, it means ‘I want this now, anyhow’. But when you request for things, it means ‘It’d be nice if I had this. Can you try to get it?’ In the first case, you seem like a stubborn child, who is impulsive and selfish, and wants things immediately, irrespective of whether the other person can get it or not. However, in the second case, it shows that you are mature enough to listen to a ‘yes’ and a ‘no’ both, depending on the circumstances the other person is in, and whether she can do it or not. So that reflects more maturity and understanding from your side.
3. It prevents fights
Demanding things can create unnecessary fights and arguments, hurting the other person’s ego and sentiments. That does not happen when it comes to requesting. Just like there is a subtle difference between ‘need’ and ‘want’, there is a sweet subtle difference between ‘request’ and ‘demand’, and one must understand that to avoid a situation where the other person loses her temper and things get ugly.
