5 Tips for Dealing with Sibling Rivalry

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An ideal family has cohesiveness as its main strength. But sometimes cracks do occur which are more pronounced in case of siblings. While sibling rivalry can be healthy, it can also be dangerous in the long run. It can threaten to destroy family relationships. Below are 5 tips for handling sibling rivalry.

1. Avoid comparisons

It is natural to have a tendency to compare among children. But comparison is to be avoided at all costs. Comparisons among one’s own children is inhuman to say the very least. Every child is unique in his or her own way. They have different strengths and weaknesses. Instead of comparing the weaker child to the stronger one, encouragement should be given to less fortunate. Comparisons only fosters lower self image.

2. Distribute responsibilities and perks

Assign duties and rewards according to the capacity and age of the siblings. Contrary to popular opinion, equal distribution does not lead to harmony. Instead, it fosters sense of inequality. Rewarding the elder one the same as the younger one can initiate a sense of underachievement. If the youngest child questions why the eldest got more perk, then patiently explain the family hierarchy. It may sound illogical in the short term, but it helps develop sense of relationships in the longer run.

3. Don’t over-mediate

It is tempting to act as the referee in a sibling fight due to the position as a parent. But it is best left to the feuding parties to settle differences themselves. Constant interference early on can lead to dependence for settlement. You should interfere only if the fight goes on to be extreme. Parents should step in at the right moment when it is a fight of unequal terms. Childhood fights should not be carried too long into adulthood as it can have unintended consequences.