20 Smart and Witty Facebook Statuses You Can Use

11. The only place you find success before work is in the dictionary.

12. Alcohol does NOT make you fat…it makes you lean…against tables, chairs, walls, floors and ugly people.

13. Every day, man is making bigger and better foolproof things and every day, nature is making bigger and better fools. So far, I think nature is winning.

14. Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were giving me a dirty look. I just thought you were ugly like that all the time.

15. Wants to merge MySpace, Facebook, YouTube and Twitter and call it: MY FACE YOU TWIT.

16. We have so much in common. You want to travel, I want you to go.

17. People make the world go around but at some point don’t you wish it were flat so all the idiots would keep walking and never come back?

18. If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea, does that mean one person enjoys it?

19. My friend’s status said, “Standing on the edge of a cliff”, so I poked him.

20. I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.